In Walking in this World, Julia Cameron says “commit to make something you love and you will find that the needed supplies come to hand.”
I wish I could take that statement to heart and go confidently in the direction of my dreams, to paraphrase Thoreau. No offense, Thoreau (and Julia), but that is so much easier to believe when you’re not trying to figure out how to pay an enormous electric bill, or choose between paying your car payment on time, or losing your health insurance.
I will say, however, that I have seen the aforementioned needed supplies manifest in my own life. I decide to open up the word file with my manuscript that has been gathering electronic dust with the intention of self-publication, and all of a sudden, there is a new job opportunity that will ease the financial burden somewhat so that I can focus more easily on my creative endeavors. But even though I have experienced these kind of synchronistic moments, I inevitably fall back to worrying more about paying that power bill. Because nothing gets done without power these days.
But, on the other hand, nothing gets accomplished by merely worrying about something either. I know, right? That’s quite a shocker for some of us worry warts. There is a part of me that believes that by actively worrying about something means that I am contributing to the solution of the problem. And in all my years of exceptional, very accomplished worrying, I have never seen it contribute to anything but my binky bonkerness. (It’s a clinical term; I am a trained health professional).
So all this to say, I am trying to change my status from worried to busy. Allowing myself to write, play music, and enjoy the creative process while I am simultaneously taking steps to address the more mundane but necessary aspects of life.